Relocating: Dealing with Change

This post is a response to the Daily Post Prompt Challenge – Relocate

It was difficult to move to India after spending four years in the UK.

This transition of life and cultures was personally challenging to me because I was used to living alone in the UK and doing things independently. I also missed the material things like blueberry flavoured oats, Alpro Soy Milk, red prawns, fancy grocery shopping, Ikea storage containers, never running out of hot water, access to Boots and Superdrug, fancy toilet paper rolls, kitchen towels, grabbing Katsu curry at Wasabi outlets, online shopping at Missguided, etc. While some of these items are easily available in the metro cities across India, they are hard to find in the smaller towns like my home-town.

I missed going for long walks by myself, wearing whatever I want, going for movies alone, trying new cuisines alone, having a routine and eating what I want everyday. Moving home was difficult because there are cultural restrictions on cooking non-vegetarian food in my parents house. Moreover, I can’t go for walks alone or wear whatever I want because of safety issues in my small Indian home-town.

So I missed my freedom a lot.

I never realised how much small these things mattered to me until I moved back home. It was only after moving home that I realised how happy these little things made me.  I soon recognised that I was taking my freedom for granted and that freedom to live on your terms in a luxury especially in small town India. Sometimes, we can only appreciate the things we had until we lose them.

Relocating and getting out of my rigid routine has helped me to deal with things when they don’t go according to plan. It has helped me to become more flexible and accommodate change with ease.

Relocating has helped me to appreciate what I had in the UK and also appreciate what I have in India even more. I am blessed with an internet connection, a beautiful home, food to eat, a great education and open-minded parents in a country where these things are luxuries. In a country where my peers are fighting hard battles to be able to study what they want or even study at all, I had the privilege of studying exactly what I wanted and where I wanted. Moving home has made me appreciate my countless blessings.

Being at home has also allowed me to spend a lot of time alone doing nothing. Sometimes, we try to keep ourselves busy in order to avoid the feeling of loneliness from creeping in. At home, I spend a lot of time alone despite the fact that I live with my large Indian family. Consequently, I am now cognisant of the fact that it is OKAY to be alone. I don’t need to make new friends just to gain approval or survive. I am okay just being alone and by myself.

Moving to India also meant looking for graduate job opportunities. Despite passing with a distinction in my LLM at UCL, I have been unable to secure a job till now. But these failures have only helped me to become much stronger mentally. I now have a very clear picture of what I want in life and from life.

These setbacks have empowered me to love and accept myself despite facing multiple rejections. They have taught me to like myself for who I am (a quiet person who loves reading,learning, introspecting and exploring) rather than for my achievements. These setbacks have allowed me to separate my identity of being from my achievements.

In conclusion, moving home has been difficult but a great learning experience. As a result, I am learning to focus my mind on the positives in my life rather than the negatives. Not only has it trained me to become much stronger mentally, but it has also taught me to show more gratitude for all of God’s wonderful blessings to me.

“Sometimes you have to let go of what’s gone, appreciate what remains and look forward to what comes next.”

– Unknown

Feature Image – By Chris Lawton on Unsplash

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6 Thoughts

  1. Love how your words balance not only the twin worlds – west and the east but cultures, freedoms, and what so often goes unnoticed; the daily humdrum – say, the choice of oat flavors or dresses.

    In the periphery of social networks where every personal anecdote shines, not every day do we come across such earnestness – ‘I have been unable to secure a job till now.’ Your words paint a tapestry that no annals of corporate cubicles could contain, let your inks retain this chrome and you shall be offering jobs to others while living in the sanctum of small-town delights.

    You would be discovered soon enough, talent always does. As the world cues up for Ruskin Bond in Landour, so it would for you. Until then enjoy the journey…

    Liked by 1 person

  2. “Privation & suffering alone open the mind to all that is hidden to others” Igujigarjuk.

    Relocation and contrasts throw up so many fragments in our own psyche that we realise why we were “sad” or “depressed” on so many things.

    We have so many “life should move this way” conditions in our head and when life does not conform to our own expectations, we get flustered. Whether it be jobs, relationships, wealth or anything. Loneliness after sometime teaches us the value of solitude. The mind goes from enemy or chatter box to an ally. The incessant flow of thoughts stop and we understand that life is more than what we thought it could be & has much more to offer. With the right push, we realise that the Universe is a friendly place.

    From the Lessons Depressions Thought Me Article, I can relate that rejection or continuous setbacks break open something in the mind and we are confronted with something that we considered guilty or unworthy. Locked up in our own head and something we consider an abomination. And when we realise that it was a made up monster.

    Here is a quote that might fit:

    “Furthermore, we have not even to risk the adventure alone; for the heroes of all time have gone before us; the labyrinth is thoroughly known; we have only to follow the thread of the hero-path. And where we had thought to find an abomination, we shall find a god; where we had thought to slay another, we shall slay ourselves; where we had thought to travel outward, we shall come to the center of our own existence; and where we had thought to be alone, we shall be with all the world. “-Joseph Campbell.

    What destiny holds for you, I know not, but good luck!

    Like

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